3 ways to discover your values

One of the biggest lightbulb moments of being coached myself was being given a list of values and understanding that the ones that stood out to me as important, don't hold the same importance for everyone else. And that mine weren't any better or worse, just different. It explains so much about why we don't always see eye to eye. I realised there and then that there's no point giving out advice about how to be calm and find quiet to someone who I thought seemed 'a bit hectic' if they don't value serenity. They might be driven by values such as achievement or fun.

So how can you discover your own unique values?

1. Good old pen and paper

   You can google a list of values, print them out and circle whichever stand out to you as important. This is what I did the first time I came accross values and had my lightbulb moment. Depending on the size of the list you may have 15-20 values highlighted. It's useful then to hone in on your top 10 or top 5, and even order them in priority. This way you will end up with your core values.

   
   

   Tip: One of the top results in google is a list on Brené Brown's website, which is good enough for me! And easily downloadable.

   
   

2. Use an online resource

   These will ask you questions and then let you know what your core values are based on your answers. I recently did one of these which was quick and easy and gave some really helpful insights along with the values.

   Here is the link The Values Institute

   
   

3. Values cards

   If you prefer something tactile and visual, you could use values cards. I have some from Barefoot Coaching. Similar to the pen and paper option (number 1 above) you pick out whichever stand out to you, and then hone it down to your top 5. I did an instagram post showing this in action.

4. 
   

   Bonus: During the summer I encouraged my family to each do this for themselves and it was really interesting to compare and see any common values within the family. It can also give insight into conflict or challenges when you see differences in values. I think using the cards was the best option for this as they are fun, and doing it on holiday was good timing too.

   
   

So what next?

Once you have your list of values, reflect on what you notice. What do they say about you? Have you been influenced by other people's values in the past?

Tip: Write out your top 3 values and put them up somewhere visible as a reminder as you go though life. You can have as much fun as you like with this, especially if you value creativity!

You can use your values to shape your goals, and make decisions. Think about which values are being served by an action.

Re-visit your values over time. They do change as we change and our lives change. It's a particuarly good exercise if you are facing a crossraods or feeling lost.

Let me know how you get on and any impact of discovering your values!