Stones and Sand

I've come accross the analogy of stones, pebbles and sand a few times and I love it; it really helps me plan a month or even a year in a special way which means it doesn't just slide by in a haze of the day to day.

The idea is to imagine a jar. Quite a big one. The sand represents your day to day stuff. Housework, admin, shopping, scrolling, exercise, etc. If you start by filling the jar with sand it will fill up, and there will only be room for sand. There's a lot of 'sand' in our lives, it could easily take up most of our life. It's not that we shouldn't spend our time on sand. A lot of these things need to be done, we want to do them, or at least it's hard to avoid them.

Start with the good bits

Before you add sand, you could place in stones or pebbles. These could be anything you want. A family day out, a big challenge, a gathering or celebration, a holiday, a project, reflection time, a date with your partner, a weekend away with friends, a gig. Anything out of the ordinary which brings you joy or satisfaction. If you choose bigger things - stones (e.g. holidays, life changes) you may need to add these before the pebbles (e.g. a massage, a meal out).

There will still be room for sand. It will need to fit around your stones and pebbles. If the stones and pebbles are the priority the sand can work into the gaps. If the sand is given priority, there will be no room for a stone.

Using this way of planning your year, your next phase or just the next month will have an impact on your life, especially if you feel you are not having enough fun, or you are missing some of the meaning of life.

We will sit down at the start of the year, and in the summer and think about our stones and pebbles. Write them down and even give some dates in the calendar to some of them. We've had some special times as a family as a result. Some of them don't happen, some of them are not as good as we imagined, but at least they weren't drowned out by sand. It's the stones and pebbles that have brought us connection in the last year.

What will your stones be? What about your pebbles?